Our enemy has many names. Evil, hatred, damaging, mind stealer, soul picker, and relationship wrecker are just a few. Beautiful, bright, shinning, guider, leader, hope, happiness, a teammate also. I want to share a month I’ve had with the enemy.
The beginning of May, I decided I was going to make some changes in my life. I wanted to grow as an individual not only as an individual but as a wife and mother. I became to turn to my bible for encouraging words and strength. I had always known that God had a plan for me, but what?
When my doctors told me I wouldn’t be able to return to the work field, it took me for a real ride. My life became a total wreck, with depression, anxiety attacks, not leaving the house, and find every excuse of why I wouldn’t be at a family function. Eventually, I had to come to my senses. I had to snap out of it, or the enemy would win. Truthfully, the enemy had won, I gave up on myself, and ran from God. Doing things my way got me nowhere. I was in the dark days and didn’t realize it myself. I thought those were the best days, so beautiful and carefree.
Reality hit with me when I finally was paying attention. I was tired of running and finding that at each corner I was right where I had started. But I was comfortable. It fit like a shoe, just the right size. But it was time to grow out of the well-fitted shoe and find a bigger size. I knew it would be a struggle and lots of what am I doing, is this what I’m to be doing moments. I had prayed for so long, but not continually, just when I felt like I needed too. I knew my family and friends were praying for me and asking for God to show me the way, His way.
The beginning of May, I took the first step to try on a bigger shoe. I knew it wouldn’t fit, and I would have room to grow. I knew God had given me the light to the path I had longed to have. The prayers that I had asked for years ago and even months ago were finally in front of me. But I first had to believe in myself and mostly believe in God. I had to step out of my small shoes and take the first step in my new bigger shoes. Wow, scary I won’t lie. But yet so exciting at the same time.
I had made arrangments to meet with a gal, whom I had never met. We both live in the same small area of Indiana, but never knew her name or where she lived. I contacted her via facebook messager and made planned a day and time to meet one another. Yes, I had to take another step in my new shoe’s, going to her home. A strangers home at that. As I sat in my car for a few moments to gather my thoughts and to get the courage to go to the door, I began praying. Yes, I was second-guessing God’s word and path. I could turn around and leave, message the gal and tell her I couldn’t make it. And never show my face again when she was in my presences. NOPE, I stood with God and did what he sent me to do.
The gal came to the door and welcomed me in. At this point, I would have been sweating as if it were 100 degree’s outside. Stumbling over words and trying not to be shy. God was right there, all the way. I wasn’t scared, nervous, or even shy. I went into the home we sat at the table and began to talk. I had questions already written down to ask. SO not like me! Surprisingly the written questions weren’t needed. As we were talking learned that we both have issues with shyness, anxiety, depression, and we both are homebodies and believed in God.
Once we became comfortable with one another, we began to talk business. God had a plan. A plan with the new shoes. I would be able to work from home, work when I felt the best, and to meet new people. I would be able to stay connected to the gal I met. She would become my leader, my guide, the person I would turn to when the corners became rough. Or when the shoes were falling off rather than letting me grow into them. She too believes in God, God’s word, and his guiding hand. So where does the enemy come into play?
As weeks went by after meeting with the gal, I began to feel fear, wanting to run, turning my back on God. The more I said, to the enemy, “You won’t take this from me, I won’t let you.” The enemy worked even harder on me. He offered me new shoes with lots of bright colors. They fit like a glove. Tight in all the right places but loose in enough for growth. I tried those shoes on for a few days. But returning them because they weren’t the shoes God gave me. They didn’t have enough room to grow into the way God wants me to grow into them.
The enemy came back with revenge. It became harder and harder for me to focus on God’s word each day. God’s words were being to feel false, not true. The words of the enemy were so much stronger. So strong that I began to feel weak and scared. I turned to my family and friends for words and strength. Words that would put the enemy in its place and to let me grow in Gods path. My strength became stronger and stronger. My happiness became brighter and brighter. My courage became so real that I knew God was with me all the way.
On May 26th, I signed on as a Paparazzi Consultant. I was taking the path that God had planned for me for so long. But his timing is everything. I was so excited about taking this new step in my NEW SHOES. I began planning things out, coming up with ideas, a budget, where did I want to be in a month or even a year. My niece and I met on May 29th to do the final steps before I could begin my path. In just a few days the enemy struck again, like a tornado. In hopes of being powerful, the enemy throws the trump card. I played the “GOD” card.
I was playing hardball with the enemy. I was the batter making home run hits. God as my coach, I was able to hit the ball harder and farther. I had lots of running to do on May 30th. But God told me what I had to do. I turned to him when I began to panic. I asked God to calm my heart and to settle my thinking. As opened the doors to the bank thoughts of what I would say were everywhere. I had to close the account I just opened a week ago. The enemy had his workers working over time. But his overtime workers didn’t get the best of me. As I told the bank teller my account had been hacked I help my head high. God soothed me as I wanted to cry.
As night came, I began to get lost again in my thoughts. Once again doubting God. Words started coming out of my mouth, words I knew God was giving me. Words as if I were standing in front of the enemy. I began to state I wouldn’t let the enemy win. That this is God’s plan, I was going to do what God wanted. I began to dance and sing. My singing isn’t on key, and my dance moves are just as bad. But that didn’t stop me from enjoying the presence of GOD.
Friday is a new day!!! I take the twenty-five-minute drive to the bank once again. As I sat down to begin the process of opening a new account, all I did was started laughing. God had prepared the accountant of the mess I had just the day before. Today went smoothly at the bank. Now on my way home was completely different. There was almost a wreck of five or six cars. With me almost being rear-ended, pushing me into the car in from of me causing a chain reaction. All of this because of a driver who decided they needed to make U-turn because they needed to go the other direction. I came just hairs from hitting the car in front of me. Seeing the car behind me coming just as close to me. I began praying that God would get me home. I asked for a reminder to go another way home.
I know I have many more enemy battles, and I know God will be my Trump Card!!!